Arrg kxrrt!

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Suggestions needed

In which FP is at a loss what to get people for Christmas


I need help.

I have no idea what to get my mother for Christmas. No clue at all.

She’s the worst person in the world to buy presents for. She doesn’t like smelly things. She doesn’t wear makeup or perfume. She’s on a strictly-controlled diet. She rarely wears jewellery. She has so many unread books and unwatched DVDs that it’ll take her a year or two to get through them all. She doesn’t like ornaments, because they complicate dusting. In other words, she’s awful when Christmas and her birthday come around.

So, any ideas?

Keyword noise: , , , , , ,

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13 comments on “Suggestions needed”

  1. Easy! A power screwdriver. Or a xylophone. Either way – total winner!

  2. Forest Pines says:

    … or maybe I can get hold of XYLOSCREW! The power screwdriver that’s ALSO a xylophone!!!

  3. Pam says:

    A quad bike !

  4. brian w says:

    A feather duster! The one thing that won’t complicate the dusting!

  5. kate says:

    Buy her a goat through Oxfam. I really really want to get something Oxfam for my family this year – my mum would approve, and it would wind my brother up. A goat or a new village well or pay a local schoolteacher’s wages for a day or something.

  6. …Oh yes. Or else Send A Cow if Oxfam doesn’t tickle your fancy.

    (‘scuse dodgy html tags: not all comments sheets seem to take them… Aaargh)

    I’m considering getting one for Mrs Gripes mother (fair exchange is not robbery and all that). It would wind her up something chronic…But I’d feel good about it!

    Incidentally a “xyloscrew” – now that sounds like a great idea! Do you think JML will make one any time soon (and doesn’t it just mean “wood screw”? You can get those in B&Q) Excuse the rambling- I think it’s the drugs I’m on… God bless the NHS!

  7. Forest Pines says:

    Don’t worry, Gripes, I’ve fixed your dodgy tags.

    Kate: hmmm, she herself doesn’t like giving presents that aren’t nice exciting parcels to open on Christmas morning, so I’m not sure what she’d think about a goat. “Well, I didn’t even get to open something really!”

    Pam: she can’t see well enough to drive, so I don’t think a quad bike would be *that* sensible :-)

  8. feather boa says:

    what about a goat *and* something practical but attractive like a scarf or a handbag? then you could wrap them together, so she feels like she’s got a proper present. i think something fair-traid/charity-based could be quite good.

    my brother’s getting a goat for christmas from me, my mum’s getting the ashes dvd. i know that seems strangely backward, but it’s true!

  9. Pam says:

    Xyloscrew sounds like a sex toy.

  10. Forest Pines says:

    Only if you’re dirty-minded 😉

  11. jaq says:

    Tried and true favorites:
    magazine subscription
    nicely framed photo of you
    flowers/bonsai (depending if she is an indoor gardener or not)
    handmade book of coupons (redeemable for lunch with you, window washing, yard raking, pan polishing – whatever other tasks she loathes that you are actually willing to do)

  12. jaq says:

    Oh, and something our kids did for us a few years ago:
    A calendar of twelve photos they had taken – they had done flowers, but favorite places/family occasions/nostalgia stuff would also be good.

  13. Forest Pines says:

    Oooh, that might be a nice idea, if I can find the time to do it.

    Plants are out – my mother freely admits that she just can’t keep houseplants alive for very long.

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