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Blog : Posts tagged with 'trust'

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Sneezingp

In which people are getting paranoid


The waters may have gone down – but it seems to have given me a bit of a cold. Bugger. It’s raining again, too.

An interesting threat arrived in my inbox today: someone told me to stop talking to their (online-only, so far) girlfriend, otherwise they were going to be “less polite” to me. Interesting. I’m not sure what he thought I’d been saying to her;* but, also, I feel sorry for him.** Trust is the only long-term basis for a relationship. If you start trying to order other people away from her before you’ve even met her, if you can’t trust her to take care of that herself, what hope is there for you in the long term?

* before you start wondering: just your average passing-the-time-of-day stuff.

** And her, too.

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Equality

In which someone takes charge


I was idly thinking, this morning, about sexual equality. And all because what a work colleague, P, was telling us the other day.

P’s partner doesn’t have a bank account, credit cards, anything. All of their income, his and hers, gets paid into one of P’s bank accounts. P’s partner – who is called R – doesn’t have any money in their own name, apart from £50 a week in pocket money. If R wants to buy anything online, on a credit card, then that amount of pocket money has to be returned before P will lend the card out.

The question is: in the modern world, do you think this sort of thing is acceptable?

7 comments so far. »

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Make Your Own Mistakes

In which we try to learn


Samhain is coming up, so here are two vows for the next year.

Avoid getting close to people you don’t trust utterly. If you’re wary about somebody, you’re wary for a reason. The closer you let yourself get to somebody, the more you’re risking being hurt, even if neither of you realise it at the time.

Let people make their own mistakes. Some things can’t be taught; they have to be learned. Even if you can see they’re going to hurt themselves, sometimes you have to stand back and let them. If you try to stop them, they’re not going to listen, and you’re only going to make things worse.

This isn’t about you.*

Sometimes, when I post here, all I’m doing is talking to myself.

* yes, you! I mean you. Of course I mean you, who else could I mean? Whoever is reading this, I’m definitely talking about you specifically. Even if I’ve never met you and have no idea who you are.

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Byline

In which we think about design and credibility


Going back on last week’s post on Jakob Nielsen‘s top ten blog design mistakes: his Number Two Mistake is: no author photo on the site. Thinking about it, out of all the mistakes on his list, that’s almost certainly the most commonly-made.

Faces are better-remembered than names, he says. People will come up to you because they recognise you from your photo, he says. How many bloggers actually want that to happen to them, though? I know I don’t. It makes you personable; it improves your credibility if people know who you are.

I said before that I don’t believe it would give me any extra credibility. I don’t think you need to know what I look like in order to believe the stuff I write here; and frankly, I don’t care whether you believe it or not; I know myself how true it all is. Thinking about it again, though, I’m a bit suspicious of his reasoning; and what makes me suspicious is: comparing his theories to the way newspapers work.

If you look at most national newspapers – I mean, British ones – their regular columnists will have byline photos.* You know what they look like, so, the theory goes, you should trust them more. Columnists, though, aren’t there to write things you need to trust them about. They’re there to write down their opinions, which may well be – and often are – complete bollocks. The news pages, which are the parts you’re supposed to believe are true, don’t bother with byline photos. They don’t always bother with bylines. These people, though, are the ones you’re supposed to trust, and their words are supposedly more trustworthy because of their relative anonymity.

Of course, this all breaks down when you consider that most bloggers see their role in life as over-opinionated commentators, not the byline-free just-the-facts news types. I wanted to mention it, though, because it’s a different angle on how trust works in the media. Who do you trust more?

* There are occasionally exceptions, of course. Satirical writer Charlie Brooker‘s Guardian byline pic is a drawing of a vaguely person-shaped blob.

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