Sociability

In which we don’t talk to strangers

Written by Forest Pines; published at 12:30 pm on April 24th, 2006.
Filed under: Dear Diary, Feeling Meh.

I am my own worst enemy.

I’ve never been good at socialising, and I’ve never been good at meeting new people. This means that when I’m in a crowded place, with few people I know, lots that I don’t, I panic. I shut down. I sit in a corner on my own, feeling awful, assuming that everybody else there knows everybody else, that I’m the only lonely person there, that I may as well just go home because noone else would want to talk to me anyway. No doubt this is all nonsense, but it’s what I convince myself.

I should learn that none of it is true, that I could go up to strangers and talk to them, if I wanted. Because once I do start having conversations, interacting, doing stuff, I end up having a wonderful time. The only problem is that I’m rarely able to make that first step for myself. That’s what I need to learn to be able to do.

10 comments so far. »

Keyword noise: interaction, loneliness, lonely, meeting, meeting people, shy, shyness, social, socialising, strangers

Meeting strangers

In which we decide that some things might do more hard than good

Written by Forest Pines; published at 8:35 pm on November 7th, 2005.
Filed under: Polling.

The other week, I asked you all a question. It was: Should I try answering personal ads in the local paper?

Now, the idea of the poll was to tot up the comments I received, and go ahead with whatever the result was. However, I suddenly realised that, to be frank, I trust some of you a lot more than others.

Specifically, although most of you said “yes, do it,” Dimitra and Vee both said I shouldn’t. Dimitra has this wonderful* skill of always being able to tell what people are really thinking, and always being right about what to do in a given situation. Vee is someone who I talk to a lot, and who I often agree with about things. So, those two votes probably have to outweigh those of everyone else.

More importantly, after writing that post I did try skimming through the local paper personal ads – I specified the local paper, because I don’t live near anywhere interesting, a long trek from any big cities – and, really, none of them jumped out at me. Other than in an “avoid! avoid!” way, that is. As Gripes of Wrath said: “Tiny rural region – here be nutters”. And, to quote Lyle, “it could be just like a visit to the freak tent in a circus.”

So, the result of the first Poll Question I’m Probably Going To Regret is: um, a bit undecided. The compromise is: I’m going to keep reading the personal ads, but I’m only going to try answering one if there are ones I actually want to answer. And, I promise, if I ever do go on any dates that way, I’m definitely going to be blogging about it.

* or annoying, depending on whether she agrees with you at the time.

Keyword noise: dating, personal ads

3 comments so far. »

Keyword noise: blogging, dating, meeting people, personal ads