“My dog’s got no nose.”
“Haven’t we been through this?”
“Shush. My dog’s got no nose.”
“How does he smell?”
Well, funny you should ask that. We’ve just joined this scheme called Smelling-Nose Dogs. You know how, in America, guide dogs are called seeing-eye dogs? My dog with no nose now has his own guide dog, who goes around, sniffs things, guides him away from odorous obstacles and generally lets him in on all the latest dog-gossip.* And it’s given him a whole new lease of life! He’s happy, and bouncy, and has a shiny coat!** He’s always bounding around and eager for his smelling-nose dog and him to go for a walk together. Completely unlike how he used to be, always moping in his basket unable to smell anything.”
“Yes, it’s really done him the world of good.”
“Still not very funny, though.”
* You know – which dogs have urinated on which lamp-posts and that sort of thing. Which is, I’m told, very important information for dogs.
** Not that that has much to do with anything. Maybe I should be a copywriter for Evil Nestlé’s dog-food arm.