Today, of course, we should all be marching around with a bulldog on the end of a string, eating roast beef and Yorkshire puddings,* and generally Being Patriotic. It’s St. George’s Day, so all English people should rise up and be proud of their Englishness.
The Plain People Of The Internet: Hang on there! What’s this siren going off here for?
A Siren (unnamed): Weee-oooo, weee-oooo (etc).
Ah, I see you’ve found my new Excess Sarcasm Alarm then.** Damn, I thought for a minute there was a risk you might believe me. Here’s a tip: if anyone tells we should be doing more to celebrate it, back away slowly. You could always suggest they move to Sofia, or anywhere else in Bulgaria, where St George’s Day is celebrated rather more fervantly than here. I’m always wary of patriotism for patriotism’s sake. If you want to be patriotic, go out and make your community a better place, every day of the year.
* even though they taste much better with lemon and sugar, like pancakes. The pudding, not the beef.
** Only £15.99 from all good electronics stores, as soon as I can find enough unobtanium to power them all