Not All Of The Following Is True

In which FP tries to confuse you


As it’s April 1st, here is a post containing outright lies. Roughly half of the following statements* are true. Others are completely made up. Guess which are which.

I know it’s already the afternoon, and by tradition April Fools should only be done in the morning. Nevertheless, I don’t care.

1) I have never driven a train.

2) I have had sex with everyone I’ve ever kissed, apart from relatives.

3) Recurring blog character Big Dave doesn’t actually exist – if I’ve done something I want to blog about, but don’t want to admit to it myself, I attribute it to him.

4) I have an “available for dating” profile on a popular BDSM-oriented website.

5) This website is named after a real piece of woodland called “Symbolic Plantation”, a few miles from my house.

6) I have never worked in any field that I actually have qualifications in.

7) I was born in the Far East.

Go on, tell me which ones you think are lies.

* And all of the footnotes.

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