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Blog : Posts tagged with 'singledom'

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Nothing in the silence to be frightened of

In which FP rushes blindly round the next corner


Things I should stop worrying about: that sometimes the world seems to be empty for me. Because it isn’t empty; there will always be something just around the corner that I have been too stupid to notice earlier.

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YAEOTWP

In which it is Friday


Or, Yet Another End-Of-The-Week Post.

End of a rather strange week, in fact. Another emotional rollercoaster of a week, as regular readers will have gathered.

I’ve always felt that things you anticipate never happen quite as you expect. And, indeed, this week has proved that to be true. The world turns, and things change. Things never stop changing, and the emotional rollercoaster has to be ridden.

Yes, I’m going all emo. Shoot me.

Anyway, right now I’m going to go and get dressed up, head off in the car towards Wooldale, and make sure I have a damn good night out. Because, to be honest, I think I deserve it. See you next week.

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Knife marks

In which FP is single


And, all of a sudden, everything is back to normal again. I knew life was going too well.

I’m back in the Singleness Desert. Every so often, you find what you think might be the edge of the desert, but it turns out to be nothing but a small oasis. I’ve been thrown out of my last oasis, and I’m back in the desert again.

I wish we could turn back our memories of this weekend, so I could have all the happy memories of our time together, without the ones of the way we fell apart.

Next thing to do: remember how to fall asleep again. It’s gone 3, and I need to work out how to switch my head off.

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Singledom

In which FP starts to get lonely


On my own in the office for most of the day, and it left me feeling somewhat down.

There are lots of things I hate about being single, but one of the worst is that it leaves me feeling there isn’t much point to anything I do. There’s no reason to do anything without somebody to confide in later. There’s no reason to come home if there’s noone to hug when I get there.

The minority of you who don’t go bounding straight from relationship to relationship and never have to worry about being single:* how do you cope with this? I’ve been on my own for years, now, and I still haven’t found a way.

* Big Dave, for example, only has to decide he wants to start seeing people, and he’s struggling to avoid women. He keeps complaining that they’re tiring him out, and if it goes on much longer he’s going to have to cut down to only seeing one at once.

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The more things change, the more they stay the same

In which things don’t change


Tomorrow night, I’m going out for the evening. This doesn’t happen too often, so surely this should be cause for much rejoicing? Shouldn’t it?

Well, no, it shouldn’t.

I’m going out to the pub, to meet up with a couple of friends who I knew at school. One of whom I was very close to, in fact, but who I haven’t seen now for at least five years. And I know what I’m going to listen to: how they are both getting on superbly with their lives, are settling down with wonderful partners and happy families, and so on and so forth. Which just reinforces the fact that I’m single now, I’ve been single for a long time, and I’m not likely to meet anybody who will change that for the forseeable future. As far as I can tell, the happy cosy partnered life just isn’t going to come along for me.

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