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In which we think about discretion


How well do you have to know someone before you give them the address of your blog? Friends? Acquaintances you only ever see in the pub? First date? Sleeping partners? The night before the wedding?

Moreover, does it work better the other way? How remote does an acquaintance have to be before you’ll let them read it?

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Sounds desperate

In which I try to meet new people, and find people I already know


A few weeks ago, feeling bored, I signed up with an online dating site.* It’s free, it only takes a few minutes to fill out, it’s just a bit of fun, you never know what might happen, and so on. Scientifically, it promises to find you your very best possible match from the people in your district. Of course, hardly anyone came up from this area, so I went away and forgot about it.

Yesterday, I thought: why don’t I look at it again? Why don’t I look further afield? So, I searched for my best match out of everybody in the country. And found one. My ideal partner, out of every man and woman in the country on this popular dating site, is my friend Kate.** So much for meeting new people!

* but no, I’m not telling you which one, or what my profile name is.

** I recognised her profile immediately, because I was there when her profile photo was taken.

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The more things change, the more they stay the same

In which things don’t change


Tomorrow night, I’m going out for the evening. This doesn’t happen too often, so surely this should be cause for much rejoicing? Shouldn’t it?

Well, no, it shouldn’t.

I’m going out to the pub, to meet up with a couple of friends who I knew at school. One of whom I was very close to, in fact, but who I haven’t seen now for at least five years. And I know what I’m going to listen to: how they are both getting on superbly with their lives, are settling down with wonderful partners and happy families, and so on and so forth. Which just reinforces the fact that I’m single now, I’ve been single for a long time, and I’m not likely to meet anybody who will change that for the forseeable future. As far as I can tell, the happy cosy partnered life just isn’t going to come along for me.

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