In which someone takes charge

I was idly thinking, this morning, about sexual equality. And all because what a work colleague, P, was telling us the other day.

P’s partner doesn’t have a bank account, credit cards, anything. All of their income, his and hers, gets paid into one of P’s bank accounts. P’s partner – who is called R – doesn’t have any money in their own name, apart from £50 a week in pocket money. If R wants to buy anything online, on a credit card, then that amount of pocket money has to be returned before P will lend the card out.

The question is: in the modern world, do you think this sort of thing is acceptable?

Keyword noise: , , , , , , ,


7 comments on “Equality”

  1. Dimitra says:

    You work with some very strange people.

  2. Claire says:

    If P allows this to happen, the phrase “each to their own” springs to mind, if R is simply doing it and P does not like it, it is up to P to stop it.

    Who are we to judge whether it is right or wrong…

    ooh that was deep, well deep enough for a Sunday afternoon… back to jelly and ice cream

  3. Gordon says:


    On one hand, if they are trying to restrict and control their budget, and everything is transparent to both, then yes, this makes sense. The more sensible of the two holds the purse strings.

    On the other hand, if it’s “I’m the man” bullshit then no, it’s not acceptable at face value.

    But you just don’t know. Maybe they are both comfortable with it.

    Anyway, have to go make sure the wife has ironed my shirts properly… 😉

  4. Dimitra says:

    While my husband is ironing his own shirts (not-so-properly) I thought I’d complicate this a little more.

    That question is tricky, because what does ‘is it acceptable’ mean? Do we accept it? Do the two of them accept it? Does she accept it? You’re not saying whether your colleague was complaining about this or merely stating a fact.

    And if she does accept it, why does she? And if the thought makes us cringe, why is that?

  5. Kahlan says:

    but you are assuming it’s the man taking control of the finances…

  6. Lyle says:

    I’d have to say that while it *may* be acceptable, it’s really not smart. If P & R should go their seperate ways, R will have a nightmare trying to get *any* finance at all. No record = no credit score = banks telling you to sod off.

    If nothing else, R should (in my oh-so-humble opinion) get a savings account, which can then be upgraded to a current account after a year, once a decent ‘record’ has been established.

    Actually, first of all, R should make an application for a credit card – not expecting to get it, but simply to start off their credit-record. The first one is almost certain to fail (no prior record, blah blah), but this will form a record, and thus may make life a little easier when it comes to getting a bank account etc.

    Mind you, is there a reason R doesn’t have any of this stuff? Have they been declared bankrupt, for instance? In which case, the situation they’re in currently is sane, and understandable. If it’s a life-long choice to not have that financial independence/control/guff , then I’d say they *really* need to think more about what they’re doing.

    (And note, not a single gender-specific comment in there. How PC. Heh. )

  7. Forest Pines says:

    Some interesting points there – I will write a proper reply later.

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